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Chaotic Disrupters

that’s what we are. It makes total sense. We try to organize this “chaotic” world, but in actual reality it’s the other way around. The world is in order, and we are creating chaos by simply existing in it. Here is an example. It is impossible to take an exact copy, measurement. Or whatever of something since the very act of gathering information disrupts the original. Even now we are discovering that the very act of observing changes the behavior of particles.

so what does this all mean? well, it’s up for you to crate a meaning for it. it seems as of right now, all the other creatures we have come across don’t have the capacity to create meaning, so they’re just in pilot mode. who’s piloting them though? well, that’s what we are trying to find out.

btw, very quickly im listing to Tom Bowling by Numbernin6. really relaxing if you want to listen to it while reading…..

so will we ever find out whether the laws of physics is actually created by an agent?

oh yes we will… to be continues……

death will be extinct soon.

well at least for human bodies i should say. the question whether our conscious lives on after we die will be answered soon. personally i don’t think we continue to exist after our body shuts down or fails or what ever you want to call it. i do believe all the information that was created by us in our lifetime still exists in the universe, since basically the . OK. i have to start from the source of what is bothering my a.d.d. lol. lets get started. what im going to say is only a belief that makes sense to me on how our existence and matter came to be. so in the beginning, since time is only a… err i know this is frustrating, but i should say everything on this blog is a belief so i wont bother you with any more disclaimers. i promise. so in the moment that started everything, im not saying in the beginning because time is an illusion. it is created by us humans. how fast or slow something is depends on what the person wants to compare “time” to. what is our time? the vibration of a mutha truckn atom up in this. before our crazy technology existed, how was time kept track of? yea correct, the sun. so you can see what i mean now that time is relative. if i were to communicate with a cave man who knew only about time with a sundial and my knowledge of time being the amount of vibrations an atom has i think only i would understand “faster” time. how in the hell would i explain to the caveman that, lets just say for an example, it takes me only 10 vibrations of an atom to build a knife, although that would be freakishly insanely fast lol, and it takes your caveman-no shaving-tiger wrestling-brute force-grunting ass 5 sun rotations to build a knife. his smallest unit would be like the sun moving from not moving which is… hold on let me search how fast the sun moves since im too lazy to do the math and since the time it takes me to research it and post it for you is going to be instant rather than you waiting until i… ok ok ok nevermind ill just research it, and post it so we can both move on. wow. that is the most complicated search ever. what i was trying to say was like the caveman would of seen the respective of the shadow moving a centimeter every “second”. i just had a brain meltdown. the sun is constantly moving so cavemans time… gah this hurts my brain. i cant explain how the cavemans time has a certain limit and the time now is faster, but its still the same. you know what that doesnt even matter. im sorry i know ill start a new paragraph how bout that?

ok so how the universe came about according to muah. no im not digitally kissing you, thats me in french i hope. ewwwwww i just flicked off a freakn silver bug off my sheets. oh. my. how do people sleep with bugs??? wha da ffffff. im talking about forest people n shiz. i HAVE TO STAY ON TOPIC. i started a freakn new paragraph for someones sake. ill start another one.

new paragraph. start of the universe. ok here we go. so there was a something, which decayed. now two questions arise. why did it decay? what was that something? everything decays into something else eventually. i learned according to this times accepted theory of physic laws, that nothing can be destroyed and ultimately if we were to….. wait a freakn minute. what about dark matter coming into contact with matter. oh for crying out loud. i love expressions lol. waittttt i gatta research something really quick. ill explainnnnn, i might be on the verge of slightly tweaking my how we… everything came about. what im going to research is if energy is released when anti matter and matter collide or annihilate. what an epic word. annihilation. ok perfect. everythings is still the same. when they collide they turn into energy. so to get back on track, if we were to try and completely eradicate matter, ya i know i just looked up eradicate, wrong use but who cares this is an incoherent blog  so :p, it turns into energy. there’s no escaping either matter or energy. that being said everything turns into something no matter what. for optimists ill use the word evolves and for pessimists ill use the word decay. and for neutralists, ya i just made it up, ill use turns into. anyways that first whatever… energy? evolved, decayed, turned into the first building steps of matter. the smallest i know of at the moment is quarks. yes there was a moment in time which atoms were thought to be the smallest building blocks of matter. that realllllllly pissed me off in 9th grade. i was so confused learning about atoms, since i was like well how isnt it possible to go smaller than that? or even smaller for ever for that matter? i just had to accept it i guess. anyways, the energy that decayed into a quark, now we all we have is one lonely quark. don’t forget though, now that has to evolve, decay, turn into something. one option is back to energy but that would be a boring cycle of just energy into a quark and the quark back into energy. there is another rule though. that quark does turn back into energy, but it takes a bit longer this time around for it to evolve, decay, turn back, since there are more types of quarks. a new question now arises. where did the new types of quarks come from? energy decaying a different way since it decayed into the quark first, then back to energy, now since there were blue prints for that first type of quark, the energy evolves, decays, turns into the first quark and a new type. those two new types of quarks, now have to evolve, decay, turn back into energy, but now there are twice the complications involved from before, thus giving birth to a new type of quark. those three quarks, now take take longer to decay because they together they form a proton.

lets take a break for a disclaimer. i know i promised no more, but just so im not misinterpreted. what belief i am attempting to explain here, is a model for my understanding of science and religion. im NOT trying to prove one with the other either. im NOT dismissing either one completely either. note that i used the word completely. there are things from both sides i disagree with which obviously for the science side im not fully agreeing that the universe started with a “big bang” and as for religion, the magical stories are for morals. i think its a fruitful way for explaining it to a growing child. it becomes hurtful when the child grows up and it is not explained that those where just stories to teach about morals instead of boringly teaching the child ….”don’t kill its bad end of story, stfu and go to sleep its just the way it is.” yes. im sterotyping. i believe in stereotypes. doesn’t mean i live by it, and no one should. sterotyping to me is an archaic trait that helped with survival back in the day. now i would say it does more harm then good, but it’s the gut instinct that you either trust or dismiss. that’s all.

talk about a tangent and a half there. so quarks n shiz. yea. if you continue with that model you might see what i’m getting at. just go up the scale now. from quarks, a more complicated thing is an atom, then elements which have higher steps of half life and get more complicated. if you see how stars breed elements i think it makes a lot of sense. and so this goes on forth which is us. we are now reaching a point where decaying won’t happen. we are going to stop it with technology. don’t believe me? just wait for the singularity. muahahahha. to sum it all up, our technology will help us transcend our consciousness unto it, beating the old biology limits. Ray Kurzweil helped me reach this realization about transcending consciousness onto technology.

so to answer the first two questions posed which were “why does it evolve, decay, turn into?” and the second being “what was the first energy” is, well that’s what science is trying to solve. so we don’t know yet. i know, so anti climactic huh? sorry hehehe!

till next post, try to not evolve, decay, or turn into anything else! (evolve usually means good, but im NOT trying to say stay static and boring and dont live in this case, i was just trying to keep it clever by staying dont die in way that tied into the blog. oh nevermind lol.)

p.s. where did the laws for everything come from? the creator that evolved, decayed, turned into energy. DUN…. DUN…. DUNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

another time… another location…

In todays day and age the rapid acceleration of technology is starting to have an affect on me. the single element that woke me up was the news of intel’s new “3D” Pentium chip up in this. Giving birth to a new transistor called the trigate. W.T.F. is exactly right if that’s what you’re thinking. you know what else i realized? well, probably not since we don’t know each other and you are virtually receiving this information at another time and location. another time since it’s already the past, simultaneously as typing this article on a portable computer that is a thousand times or more, faster than those huge building sized computers back in the day. what does this all mean? thank you Ray Kurzweil, for helping me reach the new awareness of how everything is exponentially reaching a point of singularity.

the way things just are

i would like to start off with being able to tap into a feeling that is new. for you it may or may not work since reading an explanation from me, firstly is probably going make very little sense, and secondly i don’t know if explaining a feeling that is new can be achieved.

start with thinking of your own hands. you can feel that they are present in your mind. as in you look at the wall but you know where your hands are. now think of your feet. you can feel them in you mind as well, even when not looking directly at them. what i’m trying to achieve is a full sense of every centimeter of the body at the same time. i guess this out lines astral projection, or lucid dreaming. just lay on your bed and think of every part of the body, but try to keep the feeling there as you move on to another part. maybe moving slowly from the tip of your toes to your toenails and just keep going progressing to the tip of your head. i haven’t achieved this yet, but im going to start from tonight before i go to sleep.

whats the purpose of being able to do this? well, for one i think it’ll arise a new feeling. usually the feeling i sense, or actually just conscious about is my hands, and it something unexpected touches me. such as tickling feeling of an ant crawling on my arm looking for a new adventure from his boring old every day walking back and forth bringing food for the community. or maybe not, that ant’s purpose is to actually venture out in hopes of finding new food then retracing his steps to leave a scent for the other ants to follow. yes yes, the new feeling we are trying to achieve here.

well i would say that’s it for the new feeling, but it did provoke another experiment that i failed to uphold. controlling time, which is absolutely possible since it’s only relative to you. of course hold your donkeys the explanation is coming. now i can be sure we’ve all had the feeling of when your having fun, time goes by real fast, and when you stare time dead in the face, 30 seconds can be the longest 30 seconds you have ever endured. (probably applies if your getting tortured. 30 seconds of torture will probably feel like forever.) well what am i getting at? and here we go. yea yea i know that line has been overused ever since the batman movie came out with awesome joker actor, but it doesn’t get old.
so it starts with actually being conscious of time all of the time and not using estimates anymore when someone asks you what time it is. you know the exactly what time it is, since your aware that the actions you perform take a certain amount of time. speeding up time and slowing it down will become very easy since you know exactly how long everything you need to do takes. but how will you know all that? you don’t, but your timing your actions as you perform them.
(hmm found this short excerpt i typed on “October 27, 2009 at 3:23:35 am.” but probably feel asleep and forgot to publish it lol. hope you enjoyed it >.<)

who is i/you/anyone?

feelings of disconnection from modern society can be, well very very disconnecting. this feeling is best described as waking either in the middle of the night or in the morning and having a sense of being a caveman. that word, caveman, may of just sent you into a world of . . . listening to Que N’ai-je by Keren Ann (click her name listen to a sample on pandora) . . .primitive feeling, but it’s much more than that. it is more as if i am free to roam around naked and let loose from the societal jail that we are in. slowly to keep “sanity” i am reminded (you know i feel like posting every song im listing to so instead just go to pandora and listen to the bjork station, i promise it fits well with this reading lol) so i am reminded that it is ok that i am in a structured house with perfect 90 degree walls. it is ok to have highly technical gadgets which electricity flows through them just as they do through me. it is ok that im not conversing why the FUCK i have a conscious just as the next fellow does and that life is not just some really cool gift for us to explore. it is perfectly ok to not have time and explore beyond our wants for products to “better” our life.
yes yes of course, stay on track. this post was supposed to be about our individual place in the billions of people and what that really actually means. got stuck in a little rant for a sec there. so i am one person out of the ever growing number of 7 billion. hmm i wonder if you plus me make 2, and we both think of the same exact thing, which i don’t know if its possible to achieve. lets say i think of a bright yellow lemon, is that thought the same exact bright yellow lemon in your head? the point of that idea being important is if we collect, more and more people, tell them think about the same exact thing, will that have an effect on, well the universe? ok not on a galactic scale, but there has to be a change being done to something somewhere, no? i mean if we have brain power being detected by technologies we have created then sure more brain power gathered together can have effects visible to the naked eye. or why limit that effect to only one of our senses, it could effect even all five! well yea the opposite argument would be it could effect none. but then again that’s beat by not having enough brain power in the first place so that’s why we gathered more people to cooperate in this crazy experiment. so i guess the trick here is to know whether the thought of people can be synchronized or not. who knows, maybe even just having a thought that’s similar works since we do after all have universal emotions, do we not? hmmm this is getting very complex for me, as im now thinking about laughter. yes we all know how it feels to laugh, and if you dont, im sorry your definitely missing out on a wonderful feeling, although that feeling is said to be a product of nervousness, it sure fuckn feels good lol. <- pun intended. i just felt like saying that cuz it feels cool. anyways, if you have some medical thing where you cannot laugh and it is not your control i certainly do not mean any disrespect, but try to do what you can to laugh. where was iiii, ok laughter is a universal feeling, but not everyone finds the same thing as funny and of course yes im not stupid i remember things my professor said in school… people have different an infinite combination of genes and experiences, so that explains that. im guessing the only way to make everyone laugh at the same thing is say something that everyone can relate to. wow that would be the ultimate comedian. now the question is whether by everyone i mean the current generation that can understand language or by every human evar, now and in the future. the past we cannot prove for obvious reasons, but if you don’t know yet, i am a man… or boy, that believes ANYTHING is possible. can humans fly then Mr.Anythings-Possible? we have airplanes don’t we? yea stfu.
my post originates from that very last battle with myself episode. i battle myself as if i was another person. that voice in my head is a friend, and im talking about the voice that’s reading the text in your head right now, not an extra voice that is a person. your conscious i guess it would be called. ego is more like it. lol told you im teeter tottering sanity. i shouldn’t be making these claims since i probably have absolutely no idea what it mean to be clinically insane.
not sure if i answered the question in the title, but i must get sleep in order for me to play my part in the world tomorrow. till next time reader, till next time!


i believe that being bored was the cause of the evolutionary chain for humans. animals do daily tasks that are repeated everyday without a conscious about it. when that evolutionary spark of being bored with doing that happened, it means that now you have a primate wanting to do one more than what is essential  or not to surviving.  so a culture is born to protect it’s survival. when the environment changes so does the need to be alive.. the bases of all the everything that is in existence. down to your atoms, quarks, and what-not.

i cannot concentrate because i am being too conscious on the fact that what i am explaining right now is in need of being formulated the correct way, in a specific sequence in order for my point to be conveyed to as many other beings as possible. if not, then that means i have to write this again and again in many different forms for the idea being expressed to be understood with a universal feeling.

let’s start at the beginning, shall we. 🙂 since everything decays into something else, i mean let’s think about it. everything turns into something else over time. so going down to the fundamental point of no return, (no just kidding) so going down to the fundamental point of what ever you would like to call it, the single dot that first existed, tries surviving or in other words tries staying in existence in the conditions that it is currently in. so it’s in empty space, with no gravity laws, as i know so far, well basically nothing to affect it’s anything. could that be the factor for it’s decay?

ah, i need someone to collaborate this stuff with so that i can continue explaining instead of just posing unanswered questions.

organized chaos

unorganized organization. is it possible? of course it is.

ok so our brains organizes everything it can. just look at the proof of random stars in the heavens above, but humans found a way to organize it. the most known example is the big dipper. and if you don’t know about the big dipper by now, what in the world are you doing. yes it could be called something else in your language but im sure you’ve heard of it. it helps you find the north star. the north star is a very interesting star and let me tell you right now that we are not going to have it anymore. yup that’s right. it’s going to disappear from our view. gone.

wait a minute. what if organizing had to do with the brain being bored. hmmm.. i’ll blog about this in another entry called Bored.