the way things just are

i would like to start off with being able to tap into a feeling that is new. for you it may or may not work since reading an explanation from me, firstly is probably going make very little sense, and secondly i don’t know if explaining a feeling that is new can be achieved.

start with thinking of your own hands. you can feel that they are present in your mind. as in you look at the wall but you know where your hands are. now think of your feet. you can feel them in you mind as well, even when not looking directly at them. what i’m trying to achieve is a full sense of every centimeter of the body at the same time. i guess this out lines astral projection, or lucid dreaming. just lay on your bed and think of every part of the body, but try to keep the feeling there as you move on to another part. maybe moving slowly from the tip of your toes to your toenails and just keep going progressing to the tip of your head. i haven’t achieved this yet, but im going to start from tonight before i go to sleep.

whats the purpose of being able to do this? well, for one i think it’ll arise a new feeling. usually the feeling i sense, or actually just conscious about is my hands, and it something unexpected touches me. such as tickling feeling of an ant crawling on my arm looking for a new adventure from his boring old every day walking back and forth bringing food for the community. or maybe not, that ant’s purpose is to actually venture out in hopes of finding new food then retracing his steps to leave a scent for the other ants to follow. yes yes, the new feeling we are trying to achieve here.

well i would say that’s it for the new feeling, but it did provoke another experiment that i failed to uphold. controlling time, which is absolutely possible since it’s only relative to you. of course hold your donkeys the explanation is coming. now i can be sure we’ve all had the feeling of when your having fun, time goes by real fast, and when you stare time dead in the face, 30 seconds can be the longest 30 seconds you have ever endured. (probably applies if your getting tortured. 30 seconds of torture will probably feel like forever.) well what am i getting at? and here we go. yea yea i know that line has been overused ever since the batman movie came out with awesome joker actor, but it doesn’t get old.
so it starts with actually being conscious of time all of the time and not using estimates anymore when someone asks you what time it is. you know the exactly what time it is, since your aware that the actions you perform take a certain amount of time. speeding up time and slowing it down will become very easy since you know exactly how long everything you need to do takes. but how will you know all that? you don’t, but your timing your actions as you perform them.
(hmm found this short excerpt i typed on “October 27, 2009 at 3:23:35 am.” but probably feel asleep and forgot to publish it lol. hope you enjoyed it >.<)

who is i/you/anyone?

feelings of disconnection from modern society can be, well very very disconnecting. this feeling is best described as waking either in the middle of the night or in the morning and having a sense of being a caveman. that word, caveman, may of just sent you into a world of . . . listening to Que N’ai-je by Keren Ann (click her name listen to a sample on pandora) . . .primitive feeling, but it’s much more than that. it is more as if i am free to roam around naked and let loose from the societal jail that we are in. slowly to keep “sanity” i am reminded (you know i feel like posting every song im listing to so instead just go to pandora and listen to the bjork station, i promise it fits well with this reading lol) so i am reminded that it is ok that i am in a structured house with perfect 90 degree walls. it is ok to have highly technical gadgets which electricity flows through them just as they do through me. it is ok that im not conversing why the FUCK i have a conscious just as the next fellow does and that life is not just some really cool gift for us to explore. it is perfectly ok to not have time and explore beyond our wants for products to “better” our life.
yes yes of course, stay on track. this post was supposed to be about our individual place in the billions of people and what that really actually means. got stuck in a little rant for a sec there. so i am one person out of the ever growing number of 7 billion. hmm i wonder if you plus me make 2, and we both think of the same exact thing, which i don’t know if its possible to achieve. lets say i think of a bright yellow lemon, is that thought the same exact bright yellow lemon in your head? the point of that idea being important is if we collect, more and more people, tell them think about the same exact thing, will that have an effect on, well the universe? ok not on a galactic scale, but there has to be a change being done to something somewhere, no? i mean if we have brain power being detected by technologies we have created then sure more brain power gathered together can have effects visible to the naked eye. or why limit that effect to only one of our senses, it could effect even all five! well yea the opposite argument would be it could effect none. but then again that’s beat by not having enough brain power in the first place so that’s why we gathered more people to cooperate in this crazy experiment. so i guess the trick here is to know whether the thought of people can be synchronized or not. who knows, maybe even just having a thought that’s similar works since we do after all have universal emotions, do we not? hmmm this is getting very complex for me, as im now thinking about laughter. yes we all know how it feels to laugh, and if you dont, im sorry your definitely missing out on a wonderful feeling, although that feeling is said to be a product of nervousness, it sure fuckn feels good lol. <- pun intended. i just felt like saying that cuz it feels cool. anyways, if you have some medical thing where you cannot laugh and it is not your control i certainly do not mean any disrespect, but try to do what you can to laugh. where was iiii, ok laughter is a universal feeling, but not everyone finds the same thing as funny and of course yes im not stupid i remember things my professor said in school… people have different an infinite combination of genes and experiences, so that explains that. im guessing the only way to make everyone laugh at the same thing is say something that everyone can relate to. wow that would be the ultimate comedian. now the question is whether by everyone i mean the current generation that can understand language or by every human evar, now and in the future. the past we cannot prove for obvious reasons, but if you don’t know yet, i am a man… or boy, that believes ANYTHING is possible. can humans fly then Mr.Anythings-Possible? we have airplanes don’t we? yea stfu.
my post originates from that very last battle with myself episode. i battle myself as if i was another person. that voice in my head is a friend, and im talking about the voice that’s reading the text in your head right now, not an extra voice that is a person. your conscious i guess it would be called. ego is more like it. lol told you im teeter tottering sanity. i shouldn’t be making these claims since i probably have absolutely no idea what it mean to be clinically insane.
not sure if i answered the question in the title, but i must get sleep in order for me to play my part in the world tomorrow. till next time reader, till next time!

Running naked through the Forest

I had quite a small epiphany today. I first believed that in the vast universe, and out of those kajabillion “stars” we see in our telescopes or pictures given to us by NASA, there has to be life other than us. I mean it has to be ridiculous to think that out of allllllll that’s out there, only our planet is sustaining life. Now my epiphany today was to run through the forest naked. Jk lol. No really it’s that I currently now believe that yes it makes perfect sense that we are the only thing alive in the whole universe. Aw shit.. Now i just thought of something that really complicated everything. Before I explain the complication and forget my original epiphany (lol which I STILL haven’t stated fully). Why it makes sense that we are the only ones alive in this big nothingness of gas, dust, God knows what else, is because if thought in terms of possibilities, we are that one possibility that is part of the infinite (I think) amount of possible possibilities to exist. Lol that’s alot of possibleness. Allow me to elaborate.
So, I’m sure you’ve heard about how if our earth was one degree tilted in any other way we’d die, or if the atmospheric pressure was any more higher or lower we’d explode or implode, or if (yaya i know you get the point, but I’ll set one more example just to make sure) or if our planet orbited the sun (yes we go around the sun the sun doesn’t go around us you stupid flat earth society. Did you know that the flat earth society still exists. I feel soooooo bad for the kids who are born into that and aren’t able to experience knowledge. I know me feeling bad doesn’t help anyone, but hey what the hell. But as Einstien said, “imagination is more important than knowledge.” fuck yea I love this guy. Anyways where was I, oh yea the examples about how every little detail that our planet has is perfect to sustain life. Well, look around us. I bet that every scenario that can be thought of exists in the universe, and that not one scenario is exactly the same. A perfect example is people. For which by the way, I have lost all hope for humanity after I saw people eating gold on some food channel. Yea you read that correctly. They sprinkled 24k gold on the food and ate it. Ouch I just sneezed so hard. Damn it’s so amazing, did you know we sneeze at 100 mph!! No wonder the tip of my nose hurts.. Mucus just got thrown at the walls of my nose at 100 mph!!! Holy shitstickels. (aw man that was debunked…. but still we sneeze at 35mph. still amazing to me!) Arggg back to my main point the people example. No body is exactly the same, even twins have like a .0001 difference. Don’t quote me on that I made it up lol, but i’m sure you understand what I’m getting at here. The universe may have the same type of stars, or galaxys, or gas clouds, but none of them are identical, therefore making our arrangement of everything was the one that did the trick for shit to mesh together and become more and more complex, inevitably forming us. I love that word, inevitably, and I fell in love with it instantly after I heard it for the first time in my life, when I watched Matrix. So epic. If you don’t know at least the essence behind the Matrix, may whatever you believe in be with you. Even if that whatever is nothing. 🙂 i hope you know why I smiled, if not it’s probably either you forgot about reading my nothing ramble, or you didn’t read it. Since at the moment I am typing this entry with my IPhone, I don’t really feel like searching and putting the blog entry that I rambled on nothing about, and by nothing I mean the subject nothing, not literary nothing, although arguably it is really a rant on nothing.

It’s getting late and I have a test tomorrow for which I have to be fresh in order to preform my best, so I’ll actually admit to the title. That title was another epiphany I had, but it wasn’t the one I wanted to expand on, for it’s just a crazy idea I had and felt like doing before my body vessel expires.

Over and out.

I forgot to explain the complication that came up. It was about the different dimensions, for which I don’t know if anything lives in them. The dimension I’m speaking about are 5th and above since we are in the 4th and see everything below.

Ok now really over and out.


i believe that being bored was the cause of the evolutionary chain for humans. animals do daily tasks that are repeated everyday without a conscious about it. when that evolutionary spark of being bored with doing that happened, it means that now you have a primate wanting to do one more than what is essential  or not to surviving.  so a culture is born to protect it’s survival. when the environment changes so does the need to be alive.. the bases of all the everything that is in existence. down to your atoms, quarks, and what-not.

i cannot concentrate because i am being too conscious on the fact that what i am explaining right now is in need of being formulated the correct way, in a specific sequence in order for my point to be conveyed to as many other beings as possible. if not, then that means i have to write this again and again in many different forms for the idea being expressed to be understood with a universal feeling.

let’s start at the beginning, shall we. 🙂 since everything decays into something else, i mean let’s think about it. everything turns into something else over time. so going down to the fundamental point of no return, (no just kidding) so going down to the fundamental point of what ever you would like to call it, the single dot that first existed, tries surviving or in other words tries staying in existence in the conditions that it is currently in. so it’s in empty space, with no gravity laws, as i know so far, well basically nothing to affect it’s anything. could that be the factor for it’s decay?

ah, i need someone to collaborate this stuff with so that i can continue explaining instead of just posing unanswered questions.

organized chaos

unorganized organization. is it possible? of course it is.

ok so our brains organizes everything it can. just look at the proof of random stars in the heavens above, but humans found a way to organize it. the most known example is the big dipper. and if you don’t know about the big dipper by now, what in the world are you doing. yes it could be called something else in your language but im sure you’ve heard of it. it helps you find the north star. the north star is a very interesting star and let me tell you right now that we are not going to have it anymore. yup that’s right. it’s going to disappear from our view. gone.

wait a minute. what if organizing had to do with the brain being bored. hmmm.. i’ll blog about this in another entry called Bored.

2 quick poems

here are two quick poems to celebrate happiness! w00t, the best feeling evar lol! they untitled, so title them yourself (:P)

What a day, what a night.
They past me by, without any fright.
On the final day, or final night, nothing is supposed to matter.
The only thing is, the people I left behind are going to be sadder.
Now now, I say, don’t cause any strife,
Instead, you should rejoice for you have witnessed the completion of life.

k second poem.

i urge you to watch me closely because i am your enemy.
now you ask why “be opposites if we can have neutrality?”
so then, what kind of world would it be,
if there weren’t any conflicting mentalities?

Taking It Too Far

Now I’m sure we all have had an incident we can recall in our magnificent minds, which retains information in random yet so eloquently organized web of neurons, where we have taken a certain action too far. What ever it may be, or if you are a human being who has not taken actions too far because of having a higher conscious about the limits to which an action will overstep the boundaries of the norms in the situation, then I would like to congratulate you on acquiring or inheriting that skill. Who am I to be giving a congratulations to you? Well if importance of stature matters to you, no one. on the other hand if you find that another human being in which you share this planet with is happy that you are one step closer to a higher evolution, it is here where the gratitude is most rewarding.

In the course of my life so far I have noticed that I could maybe be an adrenaline junkie. Always wanting that one extra notch for the higher rush to be achieved. My earliest memory is jumping on the bed when I was of a younger age. I cannot remember the precise age when this incident occurred, but I always like to choose the age of three. Could’ve been later, but I don’t really believe it’s that relevant to the story.

Finally, the boring part is out of the way, now for the juicy story. I was jumping on the bed, singing the usual song, little monkeys jumping on the bed, and having the aunts, uncles, and parents telling me to stop jumping on the bed. Of course I have to do it one more time really fast before they catch me doing it again. so i start jumping and start the song. now I’m on the last monkey, and yup, you’ve guessed it, i slip off the edge and knock my head into the corner of a dresser. after this point i don’t remember too much. i remember touching my head and it was wet. I was hoping it was water, but it was red. lol that last sentence sounded poetic just now for some reason. anyways the next thing i know is either my little sister or cousin telling the parents what had happened and they grab me and want to take my to the hospital. i remember fighting, kicking, and yelling that i was fine and didn’t want to go. The last detail i remember is seeing my uncle, dad and doctors with nurses holding me down, with me thinking. “don’t go to sleep. keep fighting it. you can get out of here.” then my eyes rolled back and bam i was gone.

for some time I’ve had dreams about this incident, which made me think that it was fictitious and it was all a bad dream. the proof of it being real is when ever i get a really short haircut, i have people telling me “oh wow! you have two swirly things.” (the part where your hair grows on your head)

comparing my actions of today up until this very moment in time, which time doesn’t exist by the way since humans have made it up.. and it’s totally relative thanks to awesomeness Albert Einstein, i still want to always go that one extra one time. one more time. one more. one.

the concept of infinity is to just add one to your current whatever you have. how can we explain these concepts, but cannot think even beyond what a few hundred really looks like. what really is one billion three hundred seventy thousand units of measurement. all i know that it is a lot, just like one million is. it’s just a lot, but that higher number is a lot a lot more. lol such terrible English on that last sentence.

well, if your a human reading this, and not one of the stupid Internet robots that are saving every millisecond of the Internet, i urge you to share your ideas, challenge my ideas, whatever you do, get your idea out. for one, i believe it is very therapeutic, for just now that this is ending i am feeling much, MUCH better than when i had started this blog entry.

i will now take the time and thank you for taking the time in reading this.


how did you reading this blog benefit me? it benefits me because i know that you have taken a little bit of your existence to see what another human beings interpretation of this world we both live in, is like.

so thank you once again.

short blurp before sleep :D

There is so much time, but yet so little. I love paradoxical quotes. Free will. People who say we don’t have free will are partially correct. I haven’t yet learned how to change my environment. I have come to a point where I really need a girl to talk and rant to about un-woken humans. I’m not fully yet awake my self because my days are not 100% influenced or changed by me alone. I forget about thinking to think 100% of the time. This journal is going to be my coolest time machine ever. Where am I going to be and in what state of mind? If my life or life it self is predetermined, layed out already, then I should know already. It is impossible for free will not to exist. WE are no where near finding out a design of nature. Wait I just contradicted myself. If there is a code then free will does not exist.

us having free will shows that a code could not be existant. then how where laws of physics formed?

Untitled Ladies & Gentlemen

I like this journal. I get to write down all my thoughts, elaborate, and practice writing it self. It is now 10:16 am, and I am sitting on a bench in the palisades waiting for a bus. The sun’s hot and sizzling rays are beaming down at me from the semi-clear Caribbean blue sky. Words that we use to describe is just a signal for our brain to our larynx which vibrates air molecules to make a certain sound that another human understands. I’m going to talk about my nothing argument. I believe that nothing does not exist. My best example to explain that theory is this scenario:

A couple gets into an argument and tells the other “you will have nothing if you leave me!” and the other replies, “Yes I will.” The first person replies  with “oh really, What?” and the last reply is, “Exactly, nothing.” So evidently it is obvious that even though no physical object is seen, the person leaving still leaves with something, which is the nothing. wait now I’ve confused myself on what I’m trying to argue. I actually meant to say nothing DOES exist, but it makes no sense when call upon it. when we say IT is nothing, what is the nothing if IT is actually nothing?

BUT wait just a darn minute. Something and nothing are opposites of each other? ok this isn’t going anywhere. this nothing, something argument did spark an interesting thought about if something comes from nothing, or does nothing come from something.

the first one, something coming from nothing is not possible. something won’t come into existence when there is nothing there. so it HAS to be nothing comes from something not being there. then that means the universe has always been……

i don’t know the answer… so help me find out 😀


how in the world did everything become so tangled up? i have several wires just sitting, the computer wires, any other wires. you leave them alone, and come back a year later, and they are so tangled up, that your left scratching your noggin saying

“what the ffff. how the hell did these wires get so tangled up even though i didn’t even touch them for years.”

its like they have sex or something because im sitting there untangling the hell outta these wires and then after im done there are these extra wires and i have no clue what they came from. wires have a mind of their own im telling you.

this is actually a metaphor for the world believe it or not. everything is so tangled up that i don’t even know where to begin to untangle it. the phrase that :war sucks” is so overused it’s like why the hell do we still do it? duh. conflict of interest. so why don’t we have a world court or something where countries can argue instead bust a big ass war and make the rest of the people miserable?

ughhhhhhhhh its so annoying. Well on the side note i just remembered that i wanted to share my philosophy on how we can all work together instead of fight all the time. ok this is really complicated actually since it definitely conflicts with religion beliefs out there, and i’m not sure it’ll be easy to implement lol. well it’s the idea that we humans are the God that everyone (exception of the Atheist), think is out there. so we all agree that His job is that he is the creator. k. now, we humans are evolving and keep on creating. this idea is what needs to be implemented in kindergartens. teach kids to create and continue to create for the betterment of the human civilization. (oh btw i was hiking today with family and saw the hottest woman.) ok there are the kids who don’t sit and pay attention or are angry at the world because of something that happened in the past, but that’s another issue that needs to be solved. communication is probably not being addressed well enough either. but back to creating. a prime example is the sentence, “God said let there be light, and there was light.” i have the power to do that now as well. everyone does. flick the light switch, but dont forget to say the majik words of “let there be light”. so now the argument against that i just thought of is well if He didn’t create that light, you wouldn’t be flicking on anything. but that’s missing my point. my point is to show that we are creating. but i still have to have a counter argument and what better one than the one and only CERN! wahooooooooooo!

my belief of the result in the perfection of this machine and process is that we are going to be able to create any element. i’m willing to bet my life for it. everything. it just makes perfect sense. here’s my reasoning for it.

first it starts off with, wait wow there is so much to explain. damn explanations, but they are key to communication. ok so before i start things off i would like to do a pre start with i don’t believe we had a big bang, i think it started with just a single something that evolved. why you ask? let me ask you….what are we and everything else in the whole cosmos doing? surviving. just living, becoming stronger to conditions around it so that once it’s reborn it survives longer than it did before. so the evolving whatever becomes more complicated in order to live longer. so it decays, then reforms into something a little bit longer lasting, but it disappears really fast again. and so the process goes on till it becomes a proton, a neutron, an electron, they become an atom, more of them become an element, more become molecules, and so forth until something as complicated as us humans or even more that i don’t know of.

k that’s out of the way, now we are at “to start things off”. a star. it is a cloud of gas that is being compacted because of the center of it’s gravity. it keeps wanted to crush it self into a single dot. that’s what gravity is. it pulls things together. why is that the job of gravity….. i dunno ask God lol. anyways so it get so crazyly compacted that it explodes and the gas gets spread out. when they start to get together again because of gravity, they compact again. this time, think of the compaction so hard and fierce that it starts to fuse atoms together creating a new type of gas. that keeps happening then BOOOM! then now think of that same action again but this time the core creates a 3rd new gas. BOOOOM! what i am explaining here, is the creation of the very elements that we know. it comes from stars.

ok did you think of that compaction in 3d? its basically a sphere collapsing on its self. though this type of collapse is not strong enough to hold light back. this is where a black “hole” comes in. i put “hole” in quotations because it’s not a hole. it LOOKS like a hole in space because your seeing a side of the sphere in space. think of holding a basket ball, better yet our own moon. at times when it’s not too close, when you look at it… ok EVEN better example. sorry lol. think of our sun. when we drew it on our paper in school, (oh the great innocent mind days :D) we drew the sun like a flat disk. a 2d representation of the sun, although now we know it’s a sphere. of course there is always the exceptional Asian who’s a prodigy and drew the sun all cool looking. but for the most part you get the idea. (not being stereotypical because everyone relates to it, i can guarantee or your money back)

now a black hole is the SAME THING. its a sphere thats collapsing, but this time the collapse is happening so fast that it exceeds the speed of light. its like…. think of the walls of a well. and the light is running up the wall. it can run up the wall at 186,000 miles per second. let’s say the walls are a treadmill now. and we turn up the speed of the treadmill faster than the speed of light. light can’t escape now. it can’t “run” fast enough up the wall. now down it goes. but down where? to a dot?

this is what we are trying to figure out. but we have all this STUPID ASS MUTHER FREAKN IGNORANT PIECES OF SH!T, stopping humanity from moving forward and creating. it boils my piss. they don’t even have the slightest idea, but bring up bullshit nostradamus scripts saying he said we are going to die from black holes. so all these dumbass people are like oh really…oh noes!!!1!1!11! we’re all ganna die, but yet they live their daily lives like a sheep shopping for whatever is mainstreamed so that they are not behind in being “cool”. what a load of bullux. this is where all that bullying and hatred stems from. you’re just not “cool”.

people, please. just create is all i ask, not destroy.

Barack Obama (U.S. president) said “the people of your country will evaluate you on what you can create, not what you can destroy”

(probably not exact, but its the exact idea.)