Tag Archives: life

who is i/you/anyone?

feelings of disconnection from modern society can be, well very very disconnecting. this feeling is best described as waking either in the middle of the night or in the morning and having a sense of being a caveman. that word, caveman, may of just sent you into a world of . . . listening to Que N’ai-je by Keren Ann (click her name listen to a sample on pandora) . . .primitive feeling, but it’s much more than that. it is more as if i am free to roam around naked and let loose from the societal jail that we are in. slowly to keep “sanity” i am reminded (you know i feel like posting every song im listing to so instead just go to pandora and listen to the bjork station, i promise it fits well with this reading lol) so i am reminded that it is ok that i am in a structured house with perfect 90 degree walls. it is ok to have highly technical gadgets which electricity flows through them just as they do through me. it is ok that im not conversing why the FUCK i have a conscious just as the next fellow does and that life is not just some really cool gift for us to explore. it is perfectly ok to not have time and explore beyond our wants for products to “better” our life.
yes yes of course, stay on track. this post was supposed to be about our individual place in the billions of people and what that really actually means. got stuck in a little rant for a sec there. so i am one person out of the ever growing number of 7 billion. hmm i wonder if you plus me make 2, and we both think of the same exact thing, which i don’t know if its possible to achieve. lets say i think of a bright yellow lemon, is that thought the same exact bright yellow lemon in your head? the point of that idea being important is if we collect, more and more people, tell them think about the same exact thing, will that have an effect on, well the universe? ok not on a galactic scale, but there has to be a change being done to something somewhere, no? i mean if we have brain power being detected by technologies we have created then sure more brain power gathered together can have effects visible to the naked eye. or why limit that effect to only one of our senses, it could effect even all five! well yea the opposite argument would be it could effect none. but then again that’s beat by not having enough brain power in the first place so that’s why we gathered more people to cooperate in this crazy experiment. so i guess the trick here is to know whether the thought of people can be synchronized or not. who knows, maybe even just having a thought that’s similar works since we do after all have universal emotions, do we not? hmmm this is getting very complex for me, as im now thinking about laughter. yes we all know how it feels to laugh, and if you dont, im sorry your definitely missing out on a wonderful feeling, although that feeling is said to be a product of nervousness, it sure fuckn feels good lol. <- pun intended. i just felt like saying that cuz it feels cool. anyways, if you have some medical thing where you cannot laugh and it is not your control i certainly do not mean any disrespect, but try to do what you can to laugh. where was iiii, ok laughter is a universal feeling, but not everyone finds the same thing as funny and of course yes im not stupid i remember things my professor said in school… people have different an infinite combination of genes and experiences, so that explains that. im guessing the only way to make everyone laugh at the same thing is say something that everyone can relate to. wow that would be the ultimate comedian. now the question is whether by everyone i mean the current generation that can understand language or by every human evar, now and in the future. the past we cannot prove for obvious reasons, but if you don’t know yet, i am a man… or boy, that believes ANYTHING is possible. can humans fly then Mr.Anythings-Possible? we have airplanes don’t we? yea stfu.
my post originates from that very last battle with myself episode. i battle myself as if i was another person. that voice in my head is a friend, and im talking about the voice that’s reading the text in your head right now, not an extra voice that is a person. your conscious i guess it would be called. ego is more like it. lol told you im teeter tottering sanity. i shouldn’t be making these claims since i probably have absolutely no idea what it mean to be clinically insane.
not sure if i answered the question in the title, but i must get sleep in order for me to play my part in the world tomorrow. till next time reader, till next time!

2 quick poems

here are two quick poems to celebrate happiness! w00t, the best feeling evar lol! they untitled, so title them yourself (:P)

What a day, what a night.
They past me by, without any fright.
On the final day, or final night, nothing is supposed to matter.
The only thing is, the people I left behind are going to be sadder.
Now now, I say, don’t cause any strife,
Instead, you should rejoice for you have witnessed the completion of life.

k second poem.

i urge you to watch me closely because i am your enemy.
now you ask why “be opposites if we can have neutrality?”
so then, what kind of world would it be,
if there weren’t any conflicting mentalities?

Taking It Too Far

Now I’m sure we all have had an incident we can recall in our magnificent minds, which retains information in random yet so eloquently organized web of neurons, where we have taken a certain action too far. What ever it may be, or if you are a human being who has not taken actions too far because of having a higher conscious about the limits to which an action will overstep the boundaries of the norms in the situation, then I would like to congratulate you on acquiring or inheriting that skill. Who am I to be giving a congratulations to you? Well if importance of stature matters to you, no one. on the other hand if you find that another human being in which you share this planet with is happy that you are one step closer to a higher evolution, it is here where the gratitude is most rewarding.

In the course of my life so far I have noticed that I could maybe be an adrenaline junkie. Always wanting that one extra notch for the higher rush to be achieved. My earliest memory is jumping on the bed when I was of a younger age. I cannot remember the precise age when this incident occurred, but I always like to choose the age of three. Could’ve been later, but I don’t really believe it’s that relevant to the story.

Finally, the boring part is out of the way, now for the juicy story. I was jumping on the bed, singing the usual song, little monkeys jumping on the bed, and having the aunts, uncles, and parents telling me to stop jumping on the bed. Of course I have to do it one more time really fast before they catch me doing it again. so i start jumping and start the song. now I’m on the last monkey, and yup, you’ve guessed it, i slip off the edge and knock my head into the corner of a dresser. after this point i don’t remember too much. i remember touching my head and it was wet. I was hoping it was water, but it was red. lol that last sentence sounded poetic just now for some reason. anyways the next thing i know is either my little sister or cousin telling the parents what had happened and they grab me and want to take my to the hospital. i remember fighting, kicking, and yelling that i was fine and didn’t want to go. The last detail i remember is seeing my uncle, dad and doctors with nurses holding me down, with me thinking. “don’t go to sleep. keep fighting it. you can get out of here.” then my eyes rolled back and bam i was gone.

for some time I’ve had dreams about this incident, which made me think that it was fictitious and it was all a bad dream. the proof of it being real is when ever i get a really short haircut, i have people telling me “oh wow! you have two swirly things.” (the part where your hair grows on your head)

comparing my actions of today up until this very moment in time, which time doesn’t exist by the way since humans have made it up.. and it’s totally relative thanks to awesomeness Albert Einstein, i still want to always go that one extra one time. one more time. one more. one.

the concept of infinity is to just add one to your current whatever you have. how can we explain these concepts, but cannot think even beyond what a few hundred really looks like. what really is one billion three hundred seventy thousand units of measurement. all i know that it is a lot, just like one million is. it’s just a lot, but that higher number is a lot a lot more. lol such terrible English on that last sentence.

well, if your a human reading this, and not one of the stupid Internet robots that are saving every millisecond of the Internet, i urge you to share your ideas, challenge my ideas, whatever you do, get your idea out. for one, i believe it is very therapeutic, for just now that this is ending i am feeling much, MUCH better than when i had started this blog entry.

i will now take the time and thank you for taking the time in reading this.


how did you reading this blog benefit me? it benefits me because i know that you have taken a little bit of your existence to see what another human beings interpretation of this world we both live in, is like.

so thank you once again.


this world. our world. even though there are piece of sh!t people in it, theres a point. everything should be looked at as a point. but how when there’s so much points, instances of time in just one day. how to differ between pointless and a point that really matters. well that was an easy one, the points that will benefit your own life. so that means we choose the path we create…..

now your walking in a straight line. a decision pops up. is it a 50/50, a fork in the road?? ….or is it a decision that requires more than one path to be set aside? 50/50 is the yes or no decision and you either go left or right. so to what degree is the path you chose and are creating at the moment, really what you are creating? you chose yes or no but now the consequences are going to shape the road your trying to build. i dont even know why im building a road. does that mean i have no direction.. im in space? but arent we all so there is no such thing as upside down. this is what really bothers me about space. everything we learn is shown as a 2d mother fruckn dimensional where its actually 3d. this is how i think of it. we are in a jelly cube. but that jelly “doesnt exist”. thats the black stuff that we “see” or “don’t see” in space… is that the same no because wait no im so confused. if i see black… darkness, nothingness, is that an object? because if i “don’t see” the light or what ever is out there then it must mean that its there but im simply not evolved to see it because it doesnt help my survival. survival.

so we are just all chilln but not really paying attention to whats going on here. i have been duped my whole young life that the older you are the more you know whats going on. to me, it’s like the older you get the more sh!ts out there that you don’t know. so how the hell does another human hold that status of being more understanding than another. so it has to do with certain subjects. i know more about this than you do, but certainly there’s something else you know more about that than i do. it’s impossible for me to know everything someone else knows, and more. now the value comes in whether which information is more valuable to survival. knowing another human is having sexual relations with another human is hardly, if at all no help what so ever to my survival. my question is, why is it that humans can really deeply care about another human’s life, when it has ZERO and by ZERO i mean the NOTHING, ZIP, NADA, ZELCH, benefits to helping the community advance in a field of anything you choose.

ok, so i get it. everyone agrees that no one has the 100% perfect understanding explanation of what the hell is actually going on. maybe we all do have an answer, but communication isnt fully 100%. for one thing, there is almost countless different languages. starting from there, theres already going to be problems translating to a human who has learned language differently. well once we get one universal language that everyone, every human being that is able to communicate in some form or another, will we be able to come up together, collectively as a whole, on what the hell is going on? ah what the hell.

i just need to sleep. blink blink the cursor blinks on my screen. awaiting input from the keyboard. you know another thing thats very fascinating about humans is that we take things for granted so quick. now am i talking about that just because i live in America? possibly. i havent lived in a place where i have to save my last drop of water for drinking instead of using it to rinse an object. letting the water run as i wait for it to worm up. filling my glass full of water, drinking it all, filling it up twice more, but the third time reaching half way and saying “ill save this half for later”. no. down the sink it goes because i have an abundance more of it. which reminds me….. www.zeitgeistmovie.com …. you have to watch that. it has a very very good point on abundance, but ill tell you my thoughts on it on another blog because some of the venus project mentioned in it doesnt make sense.

goodnight, over and out the door i go into the neck of the woods of ZzZzzzzZzzzzZzZzzzz ,:D